The Ryno Pen

^{Title of a song by The Vaselines, more famously covered by Nirvana.}

Ever since I posted about Tanya Levin’s People In Glass Houses, I’ve been getting visits from people with various motives.

There have been those who wanted to assure me that whatever they believed, no matter how erroneous, was inerrant truth. My policy on that is akin to our household stance on the enjoyment of stinky cheese, as set forth by Herself: “You enjoy it all you want, but if you offend me with it, there may well be consequences.”

Fair enough, too. I’m the cheese-freak, and my right to enjoy the manky fromage is not diminished. Odd as I may find it that my beloved wife doesn’t appreciate mouldy curds, I must respect her right in the matter.

* * *

Roughly a dozen visitors have been looking for ex-charismatic help, contacts, etc.

I was looking for the same kind of site a while back, without much success. If I’d been a little more diligent I’d have possibly arrived at De-conversion, which appears okay.

I know not everybody wants to leave the Christianity thing entirely. Some may opt for a different church, with less name-it-and-claim-it, or spiritual ninepins. Yet others may find it hard to reconcile the red print in their bibles with books about God wanting you filthy rich.

If it’s making you uncomfortable, take some time away from the group. There’s no need to quit immediately or burn any bridges. Of course, some relationships do reveal themselves as abusive when you ask for a little downtime.

* * *

The person who was searching for “deliverance ministry without the spooking”: do you want alcohol-free vodka? Burn-free habaneros? Deliverance ministry is the spooking, as much as a balloon is the skin!

This Devil-made-me-do-it stuff may be a hangover from the invisible companion of every child, who is conveniently to blame when there’s no playmates or siblings to frame for beheading the roses/ filching the cookies/ whatever. It’s good theatre for the audience too.

There’s probably a couple of posts-worth in this subject alone, but I’ll leave it with just one nagging doubt you can carry off in a doggie-bag: Why are these alleged demons always so dramatic and oppositional-defiant when confronted? If I was a good kiddie of the father of lies, I’d play possum, or tell the exorcist-wannabe anything they wanted to hear. These shows are all too convenient, methinks.

* * *

Others were concerned that (unspecified) charismatic churches may be a cult.

Not being a great belonger-to-groups myself, I can’t advise or help anybody who is looking for a recovery group or another church.

Sorry, guys. All I can offer is this. If your church’s corporate beliefs can survive critical thinking, they may be worth hanging onto. If, however, your group’s “encouragements to the faithful” fit too closely with Lifton’s criteria, you may want to consider just how literally this “one of the flock” metaphor should be followed.

Certainly, I have found some unorthodox hooey at charismatic churches I’ve attended. I am still unable to reconcile some of the fads and practices with what I had read in the bible.

* * *

For the visitor whose key phrase was “I was groped by a worship leader in my church” - may I recommend this site?

If you’re unfortunate, you may even find your wayward leader here: at least one of the frauds and weirdos I mention but don’t name is on that list.

Basically, though, if they want your bod or all your belongings, they’re up to no good. Lifton’s criteria may apply here too.

* * *

I am not sure what to make of the half-dozen looking to download Hillsong Music for nothing. The matter of copyright compliance, royalties, and the like has always been an interesting area of oversight. What would Jeebus steal?

I’m almost certain that you’ve got to pay. There are merchandise tables in Hillsong, and nobody has shown up with a whip yet.

* * *

Over a hundred visitors were looking for information or a review on Tanya Levin’s book. Your humble blogonaut may have written one of the few reviews that did not include some form of condemnation on the author for leaving Hillsong and having criticisms of some of the methods used there.

In addition, 60 were interested in particular current and former members of the hierarchy of Hillsong. Of course a text string in a search query does not equal a statement of truth, but some of the terms used would make for fairly hot tabloid-fodder in speculative terms. Others merely sought more information on the spiritual orthodoxy of the organization.

What can one say? Seek, and you will find. Or, as the leader of a different Church once said,

“Wish I knew what you were looking for,
Might have known what you would find.”

* * *

And here’s the title song of the post, to take us out.