Sure I’m knocking religion…
Posted by: ryno in Humour, crazy people, diary, fundamentalism, humor, tags: crazy people, diary, fundamentalism, humor, Humour, Jehovah's Witnesses, Jehovah’s Witnesses… but they knocked first.
Today was pretty-well a washout. I just wanted to lie there and hurt. (Well, didn’t want to, per se, but that was just what was going down.)
The arrival of an unctuous greasy-haired git in a poo-brown shirt and his fundy-hairdo-wearing lady pal (she of the ghastly purple home-made outfit and Church Lady hair)
sent Connie off.
She declared, “Lo, I am created Poodle, Destroyer Of Doorknocking Loons. Fear me.” (Or something similar: it just sounds like Rabid Rottweiler to the uninitiated.)
I got to the door to see God’s Little Fashion Statements ascending the stairs. Our screen door is that cheesegrater kind of metal mesh, and I can see out while visitors can’t see in.
“Go away.” (I was in no mood to bandy words.)
“But we’re here to tell you…” (all the while pulling a copy of The Good News Made Even More Condescending or something similar from his Swag-O’-Tracts)…
“Go away.”
He had another try.
“Go away.”
At last they left. I suspect this has something to do with those loony preachers who say something three times, yes three times, THREE TIMES when in full spate.
As an afterthought, I called out to them, asking them to take this address off their visiting list. Still, I don’t think they’ll stay way unless Measures Are Taken.
Hmmm.
Or does one of my pair of readers have a better idea?
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[...] Sure I’m knocking religion… [...]
Hee! Thankyou.
Tell ‘em a fib– that you’re Pagan. They leave me alone.
They don’t leave off. Even if I managed to stop both the JW congregations who infest this area (some feat that would be, considering the stunt they try “We thought you might have changed your mind or new people may have moved in, since that call…”), then I’d have to deal with every other brand, stamp and label of Dillwads-For-God who feel the need to buff their shiny-arsed souls against a nice abrasive sinner.
Ferfuxakes, telling some of them you’re a [whatever] only serves to give them new ideas for approaches.
Dammit, I’m going to design a Nice Warning Sign: something like Keep Your Gods, Sales And Politics Out Of This Yard, with smaller text below “we have troubles enough already.” Whatever: I’ll work on it.
I’m sorry your JW’s are so much nastier than ours. :-(
Maybe I have ours scared. James told me the last one was giving us some dirty looks as he went about his business.