Just last week, I phoned the local newspaper to report a near-miss that startled ten years’ growth out of me. No, I wasn’t after the newsroom…
I was calling the circulation manager to report that one of his minions, during an afternoon distribution run for the local freebie weekly, had hurled a copy of said rag directly into my screen door with such force the rolled-up paper became a stylish sans-serif “J” shape.
My concern was not for the sturdy screen door, nor for the free paper. I was standing at the door at the time, about to open it and step out. The paper hit at eye level: I reckon there was about half a second between what actually happened, and the alternate timeline where I was blinded by shards of my spectacles.
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